The Welsh RSPCA have been accused of cruelty to celebrities, by beginning legal action against new King of the Jungle, Gino Di Campo, and fellow campmate Stuart Manning, for catching and killing a rat to eat - even though they were in full view of the show's producers and Australian advisers, who could have stepped in immediately to stop them!
Viewers of the popular reality show fronted by this generation's Morecombe and Wise, Ant and Dec, saw the exiled camp tuck heartily into the rat-atouile made by chef Gino, when their meagre rations threatened to leave them incapacitated for the trials that could save them from elimination.
"It's too ridiculous for words," claimed a show insider. "The celebs eat live grubs and insects all the time, not to mention treading thousands underfoot during the trials. I bet the RSPCA never give Ray Mears or Bear Grylls any trouble."
It's true that neither Ray Mears nor Bear Grylls have been prosecuted for animal cruelty, however, the Canadian branch of the RSPCA did investigate whether the latter was a delicacy conjured up by the aforementioned Mr. Mears.
Tuesday, 8 December 2009
Monday, 7 December 2009
Sunday, 6 December 2009
Sunday Art Supplement: The Turner Prize Nominations
The nominatons are in and have been in residence at the Tate Britain since October. However, for the first time since it's inception, the artists have been questioned as to just how creative they are, bearing in mind the titles given to their work of art. Apart from David Henry's Lost Sock (left) the other nominees have been strangely uncreative when it comes to naming their submissions.
Roger Thorns has also been criticised for his masterpiece, An Art Less Titled (left) making use of Lego - since workers at Lego themselves provided the blue print for this as they do for all their other designs and Thorns' peers remain unconvinced that he deserves his place.
As for Lucy Skidder's The Road to Titledom, (left) comparisons have been made with Tracey Eminem's Uncooked Pasty, in that it seems to be the work of a lazy cow, one however, able to draw inspiration from one's surroundings with unnerving accuracy.
Roger Thorns has also been criticised for his masterpiece, An Art Less Titled (left) making use of Lego - since workers at Lego themselves provided the blue print for this as they do for all their other designs and Thorns' peers remain unconvinced that he deserves his place.
As for Lucy Skidder's The Road to Titledom, (left) comparisons have been made with Tracey Eminem's Uncooked Pasty, in that it seems to be the work of a lazy cow, one however, able to draw inspiration from one's surroundings with unnerving accuracy.
Finally, Richard Left's Title-Schmitle (left) was praised for it's simplicity of lines and perfectly balanced symmetry of life, with his trademark touch of surrealism.
The winner will be announced on December 7th, until then, spend a fortune travelling to London to view this eclectic collection, many examples of which you could actually find in any good junk shop near home.
Saturday, 5 December 2009
Saturday Music Review: Rihanna's Struggle To Record
R'n'B megastar Rihanna found it tough to record her latest album 'Rated R' because of the lyrical closeness to the many troubles she was experiencing in her life during it's recording.
A source close to the beautiful singer said it was a difficult time for her but felt that it added a whole new dimension to some of the songs, as she poured her heart and soul into it, even though, at times, she was forced to leave the studio when overcome by emotion.
Rihanna said: "It's the closest album to me, to my heart. I opened up a lot on it and got a little vulnerable and let my emotions out on it. Everything's documented on the album." Only now can she listen to it all through without crying. She said: "I'm able to listen back to it now but in the beginning it was really weird. I couldn't listen to demos or anything. It was too deep for me. I kept leaving the studio when people wanted to listen to the songs."
Our resident music guru, Lil Edna Slippers checked it out and found that the album could well resonate with most of the record buying public.
1. Mad House - We've all been there, the olds call and say the car's broken down and can you go and bring them back from the boot fair they went to fifty miles away; the kids aren't up and you're wearing paint stained holey jogging bottoms and are halfway through the back wall in the living room.
2. Wait Your Turn - Boxing Day Sales at Bluewater. 'Nuff said.
3. Hard featuring Jeezy - it was, he wouldn't keep still. They didn't even get round to titling the track. Don't have him back.
4. Stupid In Love - the struggles to hold something back for later, but, when it comes to chocolate ... we've all been there.
5. ROCKSTAR 101 featuring Slash - it's the smell, it takes forever to get rid. Why can't he use the loo like normal people?
6. Russian Roulade - like normal roulade but covered in fur. Even Gordon Ramsey would weep.
7. Frie Bomb - it's not often you go for a Maccy D's but when you do, it'd be nice to eat it in peace and not spend the lunch time picking potato out of your barnet.
8. Rude Boy - the next door neighbour's little brat, his footballs, your fence, his hand signals.
9. Photographs featuring will.i.am - how a respected musician and singer can be such a pain in the backside, by jumping into every shot; everyone wishes he'd just GROW UP!
10. G4L11. Te Amo - the issues we all have with predictive text.
12. Cold Case Love - Finally, the Waking the Dead episode we all wanted to see: Grace and Boyd getting it on.
13. The Last Song On This CD - laziness, the deadliest of the seven sins and how anyone can be affected by it.
A lasting reminder of the trails and tribulations we can all face during our time on this earth, add it to your Christmas list and do your family a favour by playing it, loudly, all over the remainder of the festive season - they'll love you for it.
A source close to the beautiful singer said it was a difficult time for her but felt that it added a whole new dimension to some of the songs, as she poured her heart and soul into it, even though, at times, she was forced to leave the studio when overcome by emotion.
Rihanna said: "It's the closest album to me, to my heart. I opened up a lot on it and got a little vulnerable and let my emotions out on it. Everything's documented on the album." Only now can she listen to it all through without crying. She said: "I'm able to listen back to it now but in the beginning it was really weird. I couldn't listen to demos or anything. It was too deep for me. I kept leaving the studio when people wanted to listen to the songs."
Our resident music guru, Lil Edna Slippers checked it out and found that the album could well resonate with most of the record buying public.
1. Mad House - We've all been there, the olds call and say the car's broken down and can you go and bring them back from the boot fair they went to fifty miles away; the kids aren't up and you're wearing paint stained holey jogging bottoms and are halfway through the back wall in the living room.
2. Wait Your Turn - Boxing Day Sales at Bluewater. 'Nuff said.
3. Hard featuring Jeezy - it was, he wouldn't keep still. They didn't even get round to titling the track. Don't have him back.
4. Stupid In Love - the struggles to hold something back for later, but, when it comes to chocolate ... we've all been there.
5. ROCKSTAR 101 featuring Slash - it's the smell, it takes forever to get rid. Why can't he use the loo like normal people?
6. Russian Roulade - like normal roulade but covered in fur. Even Gordon Ramsey would weep.
7. Frie Bomb - it's not often you go for a Maccy D's but when you do, it'd be nice to eat it in peace and not spend the lunch time picking potato out of your barnet.
8. Rude Boy - the next door neighbour's little brat, his footballs, your fence, his hand signals.
9. Photographs featuring will.i.am - how a respected musician and singer can be such a pain in the backside, by jumping into every shot; everyone wishes he'd just GROW UP!
10. G4L11. Te Amo - the issues we all have with predictive text.
12. Cold Case Love - Finally, the Waking the Dead episode we all wanted to see: Grace and Boyd getting it on.
13. The Last Song On This CD - laziness, the deadliest of the seven sins and how anyone can be affected by it.
A lasting reminder of the trails and tribulations we can all face during our time on this earth, add it to your Christmas list and do your family a favour by playing it, loudly, all over the remainder of the festive season - they'll love you for it.
Friday, 4 December 2009
Walsh Confirms Jedward Deal
Having realised what an albatross around his neck (the one he stuck out when he put them through to the live final) the Jedward phenomena has become, Louis Walsh has struck a deal with a Russian crime lord to make them disappear.
The crime lord, whose identity Louis refused to divulge, is said to bankrolling the next series of Channel Four's flagship show Celebrity Big Brother and has practically demanded that the Irish lads be a part of it, to up the standard of celebrities taking part from 'z' list to 'y' list.
The crime lord, whose identity Louis refused to divulge, is said to bankrolling the next series of Channel Four's flagship show Celebrity Big Brother and has practically demanded that the Irish lads be a part of it, to up the standard of celebrities taking part from 'z' list to 'y' list.
An insider at Louis' management company said he was thrilled with the deal, and was hoping that by the time Jedward got out of the Big Brother house - following a mammoth six month run - they'll have forgotten all about a singing career.
Thursday, 3 December 2009
Gillette Chairman: "I just give up!"
The marketing team at Gillette is in disarray tonight, after it was disclosed that superstar tennis player Roger Federer is a cross dressing karaoke addict who eats dog food from a cat bowl, while dressed as Dame Edna Everage, much to his wife's obvious distress.
It's the final straw in a previously fantastically successful campaign that featured the cream of sporting superstars from around the world: Former Arsenal and French soccer God Thierry Henry, now under investigation for being a cheating bastard, and US golfing sensation Tiger Woods, now under investigation for being a cheating bastard.
Gillette are understood to now be ready to offer England stars David Beckham, Frank Lampard and Wayne Rooney the lucrative contract instead.
It's the final straw in a previously fantastically successful campaign that featured the cream of sporting superstars from around the world: Former Arsenal and French soccer God Thierry Henry, now under investigation for being a cheating bastard, and US golfing sensation Tiger Woods, now under investigation for being a cheating bastard.
Gillette are understood to now be ready to offer England stars David Beckham, Frank Lampard and Wayne Rooney the lucrative contract instead.
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
Late Celebs Shocking Antics Caught on Camera!
Shocking film has come to light of iconic tragic screen superstar Marilyn Monroe smoking marijuana, in a private get together filmed by a close friend, who wishes to remain anonymous.
The late star is seen to take one huge, almighty drag out of the roll-up, pressed into her hands by an unknown person. Her fan club are said to be horrified that this film has passed into the mainstream and devastated that some people will use this to back up ideas that their idol may have taken other drugs during her time in the spotlight.
It's the latest in the scandal rocking Hollywood, where so called "friends" are cashing in on their deceased mates and earning a fortune from private memories of their wrong-doing, with no apparent legal comeback on account of their "friend" being with us no longer.
Iconic tragic rebel without a cause, James Dean, has been shown kicking a cat in his front garden, leading to an outbreak of concern from animal rescue groups, who said that the neighhbour's cat using your garden as a toilet is no excuse for that sort of behaviour, which is what happened on this occasion.
And family of the iconic tragic singing legend Elvis Presley were equally appalled when footage was leaked of Elvis apparently getting away without paying for a complete hamburger, during a quick pit-stop with his road crew. The film clearly shows him counting his change and then smirking, mouthing the words: "She counted it wrong, she's given me ten cents too much. Quick, leg it."
The late star is seen to take one huge, almighty drag out of the roll-up, pressed into her hands by an unknown person. Her fan club are said to be horrified that this film has passed into the mainstream and devastated that some people will use this to back up ideas that their idol may have taken other drugs during her time in the spotlight.
It's the latest in the scandal rocking Hollywood, where so called "friends" are cashing in on their deceased mates and earning a fortune from private memories of their wrong-doing, with no apparent legal comeback on account of their "friend" being with us no longer.
Iconic tragic rebel without a cause, James Dean, has been shown kicking a cat in his front garden, leading to an outbreak of concern from animal rescue groups, who said that the neighhbour's cat using your garden as a toilet is no excuse for that sort of behaviour, which is what happened on this occasion.
And family of the iconic tragic singing legend Elvis Presley were equally appalled when footage was leaked of Elvis apparently getting away without paying for a complete hamburger, during a quick pit-stop with his road crew. The film clearly shows him counting his change and then smirking, mouthing the words: "She counted it wrong, she's given me ten cents too much. Quick, leg it."
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
Monday, 30 November 2009
Shock For Strictly as Celebs Join Freemasons?
Eagle eyed, and yet, somehow shortsighted, fans have been saying it for months, but it has finally come to the attention of BBC producers that their contestants, whilst waiting backstage in Tess' area when she is interviewing, are constantly making signals to unknown and possibly unsavoury characters.
The latest in a long line of bizarre incidents to have dogged the show, had Ricky Whittle making a secret signal in the form of a 'C' shape, which was immediately taken by the on-line OddsOnBetSomeoneWillWinEventually company, that Ricky is ready to give up and allow Chris Hollins safe passsage to the final, this being a sign to his Masonry friends to put all their money on Hollins.
This follows the alleged and as yet, unsubstantiated rumours that Laila Rouass was seen winking - yes, winking - directly at camera three during her own interview in full view of everybody! Her professional partner, ballroom king Anton Du Beke, defended his partner's unladylike behaviour, saying it was perfectly all right to wink at camera three when you fancied the pants off the cameraman. He then covered his mouth and went: "Oops, did I say that? I was kidding, you know what I'm like, ha ha ha."
"It's getting out of hand," stated Dave Arch, the musical director, although it's unclear if he was answering a question related to the controversy or merely responding to a dropped-packet-of-crisps-in-a-tuba situation in the band pit.
Ali Bastian was also said to be seen by someone, who wished to remain anonymous and who said they only half glanced briefly enough to see a blonde person, but it must have been Ali because who else could it have been and they didn't have to prove anything, just start the rumour, thank you very much, because it's their opinion and they're entitled to it, to drop the crisps into the band pit in the first place and that this was a signal to the wardrobe department to fit her up with a pair of flat shoes, like Natalie C, because that would be sure to give her an advantage, what with her broken leg and all.
Along with the blatant nose thumbing given to James Jordan by the said Chris Hollins, who's been making Mrs Jordan scream in ecstasy every Saturday night and Natalie Lowe's blatant Australianism, continually shown in the form of her competing competitively in the competition every week, it's no wonder that Strictly is losing out to X-Factor in the ratings battle.
The latest in a long line of bizarre incidents to have dogged the show, had Ricky Whittle making a secret signal in the form of a 'C' shape, which was immediately taken by the on-line OddsOnBetSomeoneWillWinEventually company, that Ricky is ready to give up and allow Chris Hollins safe passsage to the final, this being a sign to his Masonry friends to put all their money on Hollins.
This follows the alleged and as yet, unsubstantiated rumours that Laila Rouass was seen winking - yes, winking - directly at camera three during her own interview in full view of everybody! Her professional partner, ballroom king Anton Du Beke, defended his partner's unladylike behaviour, saying it was perfectly all right to wink at camera three when you fancied the pants off the cameraman. He then covered his mouth and went: "Oops, did I say that? I was kidding, you know what I'm like, ha ha ha."
"It's getting out of hand," stated Dave Arch, the musical director, although it's unclear if he was answering a question related to the controversy or merely responding to a dropped-packet-of-crisps-in-a-tuba situation in the band pit.
Ali Bastian was also said to be seen by someone, who wished to remain anonymous and who said they only half glanced briefly enough to see a blonde person, but it must have been Ali because who else could it have been and they didn't have to prove anything, just start the rumour, thank you very much, because it's their opinion and they're entitled to it, to drop the crisps into the band pit in the first place and that this was a signal to the wardrobe department to fit her up with a pair of flat shoes, like Natalie C, because that would be sure to give her an advantage, what with her broken leg and all.
Along with the blatant nose thumbing given to James Jordan by the said Chris Hollins, who's been making Mrs Jordan scream in ecstasy every Saturday night and Natalie Lowe's blatant Australianism, continually shown in the form of her competing competitively in the competition every week, it's no wonder that Strictly is losing out to X-Factor in the ratings battle.
Sunday, 29 November 2009
Sunday Supplement: Are some 'green' decisions good for all?
We all know we should do more for the planet, with environmental concerns affecting countries across the globe, but a new protection group has sprung up defending the humble coco pops right to make it home in a shoppers bag, without being crushed by a six pint plastic bottle of milk.
Cereal Realists Against Persecution have blasted supermarkets for introducing paper bags to carry home their own brand cereals instead of cardboard boxes. The best known brands however, were praised for putting the interests of their cereals first and sticking with their trademark cardboard boxes.
"Our concerns also have the backing of parents, " stated a spokesman for the Realists. "Where else would they get the materials for school art projects if it wasn't for the cardboard packaging found in our store cupboards? How many robots would lie half unmade, lacking the very body at the heart of their design?"
However, the Campaign for the Reduction of Abundant Packaging has hit back at the Realists, saying that failure of all the main brands to act on the supermarkets initiative would have a catastrophic effect on a global scale.
"Which is all very well," said a Mrs. Gruel as she left her local shop recently. "But I tried buying my Oatybreak in a bag but I snagged the trolley as I left, the milk tipped, the bag ripped and before I knew it I was knee deep in porridge. And don't even get me started on my clusters. We're all against excess packaging, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere."
Cereal Realists Against Persecution have blasted supermarkets for introducing paper bags to carry home their own brand cereals instead of cardboard boxes. The best known brands however, were praised for putting the interests of their cereals first and sticking with their trademark cardboard boxes.
"Our concerns also have the backing of parents, " stated a spokesman for the Realists. "Where else would they get the materials for school art projects if it wasn't for the cardboard packaging found in our store cupboards? How many robots would lie half unmade, lacking the very body at the heart of their design?"
However, the Campaign for the Reduction of Abundant Packaging has hit back at the Realists, saying that failure of all the main brands to act on the supermarkets initiative would have a catastrophic effect on a global scale.
"Which is all very well," said a Mrs. Gruel as she left her local shop recently. "But I tried buying my Oatybreak in a bag but I snagged the trolley as I left, the milk tipped, the bag ripped and before I knew it I was knee deep in porridge. And don't even get me started on my clusters. We're all against excess packaging, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere."
Saturday, 28 November 2009
Saturday Review: Keeping it in the showbiz family
How far will a showbiz agent go to find the next big superstar? Not very far, according to a Variety magazine report which shows that agents are quite often going no further than an existing star's home to discover the next big thing.
Since the days of the Osmonds, The Jacksons and the Partridge Family, relatives of big names have cashed in on agents laziness. Witness twin brothers Nigel Lythgoe (top right) and Frank Skinner (left) - would Nigel have got his big break if it hadn't been for Frank staking a spot in the limelight with partner David Baddiel all those years ago?
So it comes as no surprise to find out that X-Factor popster Joe McEelderry is actually the long lost son of mentor Cheryl Cole, 37. Just think of those melting brown eyes and glossy thick hair and you wonder how the news managed to stay quiet for so long. Apart from Joe inheriting his father's voice, the likenesses are totally apparent when you point them out.
ITV bosses naturally tried to keep the news from Cheryl, who had no idea she had a long lost son. Pop Svenagli Simon Cowell said he'd known all along, but decided it was in Cheryl's own interest not to know, lest she showed any bias towards Joe in any way.
It was private detectives, hired by Cheryl's agent to follow up a piece of completely unadulterated gossip by an old neighbour of the Tweedy's, who discovered the truth of Joe's birth. They quickly advised Starmaker Simon, who ensured a smooth path into the X-Factor live shows for the boy who will become his new protege.
Friday, 27 November 2009
Motorists Hit by Parking Fines
Mr. Fines was subsequently charged with public order offences and will appear at Kensington and Chelsea Magistrates Court next week.
Thursday, 26 November 2009
Jetman - Accident or Sabotage?
Stelios Haji-Ioannou of Easyjet has denied his company were behind the failure of Swiss 'Jetman' Yves Rossy, to fly solo using a single jet-propelled wing between Africa and Europe.Rossy set off from Morocco but ditched in the Straights of Gibralter after a problem developed with his right hand wing.
Knowing that Stelios always has an a eye on the competition, Easyjet's detractors were quick to point the finger at the low budget airline's boss, who was said to be developing his own low-cost jetpacks to cut the cost of air travel even further.
A source close to Stelios said it was a "ridiculous" idea to suggest that the airline had anything to do with the Jetman's failure and queried why anyone would think they were. Eye witnesses on the ground in the Sahara Desert however, report seeing a "big orange and white bird" apparently skim the Jetman just after take off. Aviation investigators are set to investigate.
Wednesday, 25 November 2009
Potter Star in Stage Rage
Winky, the former disgraced Hogwarts house elf, has once again fallen foul of critics and fans alike in the West End, as she jumped from the stage and threw herself at an audience member following the final curtain on her latest play.
Playing the love interest of Gollum in the stage production of Smeagol's Lot, the new Alan Ayckbourn play at the Duke of York's theatre in London's West End, the role was seen as a breakthrough for the recovering alcoholic.
However, it appears that though the addiction to Butterbeer is under control, the tiny star is still drinking heavily, having replaced the scarce make-believe drink with Smirnoff Ice.
A theatre insider said: "It got worse of course, when Dobby died, and she was thrown out of Hogwarts but we hoped the worst of it was over."
Winky was discovered by the playwright in a doorway of the theatre one day, and he immediately saw her potential as Gollum's mate and invited her to audition. After winning many fans with her portrayal of the besotted creature, it now looks as though her love affair with the stage may be just a brief encounter.
Playing the love interest of Gollum in the stage production of Smeagol's Lot, the new Alan Ayckbourn play at the Duke of York's theatre in London's West End, the role was seen as a breakthrough for the recovering alcoholic.
However, it appears that though the addiction to Butterbeer is under control, the tiny star is still drinking heavily, having replaced the scarce make-believe drink with Smirnoff Ice.
A theatre insider said: "It got worse of course, when Dobby died, and she was thrown out of Hogwarts but we hoped the worst of it was over."
Winky was discovered by the playwright in a doorway of the theatre one day, and he immediately saw her potential as Gollum's mate and invited her to audition. After winning many fans with her portrayal of the besotted creature, it now looks as though her love affair with the stage may be just a brief encounter.
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