Fights on the Pound Table!

Inhabitants in Wessex were barricading themselves into their huts today, when news filtered through the villages that Merlin had finally managed to oust Arthur as head of the Round Table Knights. Although theoretically all seats were even, it was well known that Merlin usually occupied the Number 11 seat in charge of the petty cash, whilst Arthur himself preferred seat number 10, with the nice blue cushion and elephant foot umbrella stand, perfect for holding Excalibur.

The ageing magician stated “Och, he’s totally lacking in gravitas and has been the same since he was a boy. Taking part in sketch shows … voicing cartoons. Oh, and yeah - it was me who pulled the damn sword out of that stone, by the way, but because of the political climate at the time we felt it best for me to take a back seat in case other people in the party felt threatened.”

Guinevere was said to be shocked and saddened by the news, however, a quick trip to Jimmy Choo and she was fine again. “I mean, alright, he’s old - but he can do magic!" she beamed. “To be honest, things between me and Arthur haven’t been too good lately, I just couldn’t help comparing him with Lancelot - yes, it was good of him to forgive me, but no, me and Lancelot are over for good now. I mean, Merlin can do magic!”