Olympic Champion Reveals Long Held Family Secret

Miguel Felpez, the 5ft 5in Spanish swimming sensation, who won a record 15 golds at the last Olympics, adding to his already impressive tally of 22 from previous Games, today confirmed the secret to his phenomenal talent - his mother is a dolphin!

“Yes, of course I feel I do have a slight advantage over my competitors, but then, I’ve suffered in other ways. The catering, for example, at most Games is just a joke. I mean, I can only eat so many Fillet o’Fish, but there’s precious little option for fresh, raw stuff. I end up having to catch it myself, which really cocks up my training schedule.”

Miguel was speaking to me from the family holiday home in the middle of the Pacific, where he is taking a well earned break from competition, but regrettably the interview was interrupted by his grandmother calling him in for his supper:

“Rrrrrr…click…click…beep…beep…rrrrr.”