Georgie Porgie given 5 year jail term

Serial pest Georgie Porgie has finally been given the custodial sentence nursery rhyme land has been demanding for so long.

Porgie, 37, protested his innocence throughout the three week trial, but was found guilty by a unanimous verdict. However, his defence counsel, Jack Frost, stated that an appeal would be lodged immediately and he would also be seeking compensation for injuries sustained by his client whilst awaiting trial.

"The investgation into the attack on my client in custody has been shoddy, to say the least," confirmed Mr.Frost. "The police say there is little evidence to go on, even though my client has identified his assailant and the injury sustained is consistent with the MO of this character."

Goosey Goosey Gander, the character accused by Porgie, has a watertight alibi, having been in My Lady's chamber on the night in question, a fact confirmed by My Lady herself, happily sacrificing her marriage and reputation to ensure there was no miscarriage of justice. Gander, 42, stated: "Just because someone took him by the left leg and threw him down the stairs, doesn't mean to say it was me, does it? He's just trying to fit me up cos he fancied a crack at My Lady."