The five little piggies at that heart of the "This little piggy went to market" rhyme have finally decided to speak up about the shocking conditions they endure for the self-gratification of parents and children throughout the world.
"It's no fun spending every spare minute at that stupid market you know," sniffed Piggy Number One, "just for once it'd be nice if I could go to the cinema or, oh, I dunno - Thorpe Park or Chessington would be nice."
Piggy Number Two, however, said Piggy Number One should be grateful he got to see the outside of their house. "I was made to stay home and now, when I want to be out exploring the world, I find I can't - I've developed agoraphobia from being stuck here for so long. The fantasy will of children at bedtime is a terrible, terrible thing."
The fourth little piggy tutted: "At least you get some decent grub occasionally - I have to sit here watching him (he indicated the third little piggy) stuffing himself full of roast beef -"
"Oh, you think I wouldn't like something else for a change? Trust me, if I could give you the damn beef, I would. I've yearned to try sushi but it just ain't happening, is it?" Piggy Number Three then stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
And the fifth little piggy went: "Sod this for a game of soldiers; I'm ripping it up in Ibiza as a rave DJ. See ya."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment