Manchester United Chairman Unhappy at Loss of Ronaldo

Secretly shot footage has come into our possession, of a top level meeting in the Manchester United boardroom and we feel it is entirely in the interest of public to publish this remarkable piece of film.

However, please be aware that it does contain shocking images and foul language, so if you are of a nervous disposition, please do not watch.

No, really - we're serious, do not watch if you are easily offended by coarse language and slight racist overtones. Please note, the views contained therein are not held by anyone associated with The Daily Scatter or its sister publications.

Please also do not watch if you have a) recently had stitches, or b) recently had a baby, or c) a bad back or d) a dodgy ticker, or e) most importantly, bladder control problems.




You have been warned!