Co-operative Targets M&S Food

Following the unveiling of the Co-op's new brand of Ambient Sausage Rolls, which are being snapped up at twice the price of their normal sausage rolls, the Co-op have brought forward plans to roll out a whole host of super foods to compete with the upper echelons of food retailers.

Atmospheric Bean Sprouts, Jaunty Spaghetti, Creative Cauliflowers and Cosmic Peaches are set to join the Ambient Sausages Rolls in expensive packaging covered with pretty pictures, in an effort to part hard-working families with more cash, in the belief that the foods - which are all made and pakaged in exactly the same place as the budget brand - will taste better and be healthier, just because the advert says so.

"We're exceedingly pleased with the early results," said a spokesman for the Co-op. "The new sausage rolls have captured the imagination of shoppers, leaving them feeling happier and healthier at this dreary time of year."